AIMS—Child murder misdiagnosed assudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is a difficult area to study. Wepresent a perpetrator's descriptions to enrich clinicians' knowledgeof possible presenting features of this phenomenon. METHODS—Interview material wascollected as part of a qualitative study of maternal filicide performedfrom a naturalistic paradigm in order to access the perpetrators' viewof events. The woman participant has been convicted for three childmurders and two attempted murders which were initially misdiagnosed asSIDS. Interviews were done in the participant's home with her partnerpresent, while she was on leave from prison. Semi-structured interviews were conducted, recorded, transcribed, and analysed for themes. Specific ethical permission was gained to present this case in isolation and the paper was written in consultation with the woman described. RESULTS—She described initialintense attachment to her first victim and described killing herbecause she was unable to bear her apnoea attacks and her fear oflosing her. She described difficulty grieving for this child andsubsequent failure to attach to her next child or feel for the other victims. CONCLUSIONS—Expressions of intenseattachment to an infant and description of intense grief over a deathin a way which engages compassion should not deter a paediatrician fromconsidering the possibility of the parent having killed the child.
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